Archive | December, 2011

If This Mother’s Table Could Talk…

8 Dec

It would say, “Don’t you think it’s about time you free me of the plastic pink princess-themed table covering that you laid upon my beautiful, bare wood over one month ago, and which clashes horribly with the round wooden tray holding late fall minature gourds of golden yellows and oranges (with a touch of lime green), not to mention the fall-inspired candle jars adding a certain holiday confusion?”

It would further note that from its vantage point, it has come to its attention that the front porch has managed to slide right through to the proper holiday decorum. Colorful lights and boughs abound.

“Step it up!” I’m beginning to lust over that pretty, holiday-red tablecloth, sitting over there, looking all festive and only too happy to oblige.”



Where’s My Turkey?!

1 Dec

I realize Thanksgiving has come and gone, but I want my turkey! Allow me to explain: You see, for the past few years, we’ve traveled over the fields and through the woods (yes, for real) to sister-in-law’s house to eat turkey (this year, only turkey breast was served?), marvel at grandbabies, catch up on the year’s big (and small) announcements, and generally act be cordial and full of self-denial while engaging in the family’s ritual of small-talk. Something Kaukab never role-played with her own.

In order to prepare for no possibility of having leftover turkey sandwiches over the next several days, Kaukab’s daughter always made sure to purchase a Thanksgiving turkey to make later that week, or at least to have ready for Christmas dinner.

This year, no turkey. Kaukab’s daughter contracted a very, very bad cold. Held up for three weeks, with only one working ear at this time. And, while two working ears aren’t required for preparing a turkey (timers are cooking crutches), it helps to have a sense of balance when cooking upright and doing heavy lifting, as is required for handling Thanksgiving foodstuffs.

I managed to scout out a few at Aldi, but didn’t have the urge, as I had just prior to Thanksgiving. I decided I’d take the chance and wait until closer to Christmas. Or, until my second ear felt better. Lucky for me, the drugs have started to kick in. I can actually begin to feel my eardrum fighting to move.

When I do manage to find me a turkey, I’ll make sure to get the whole bird. There’s something un-Thanksgiving about cooking a breast-only turkey. The flavors are off.

Besides, have you ever seen a turkey waddling around without its appendages? It’s all commercial make-believe, people.

I hope your Thanksgiving was a lovely one.

P.S. If you’ve got any leftover turkey, please email me some. I’d be most thankful.


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